Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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