no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
