we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
