i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
