no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
