I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
