he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
