five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
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