If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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