I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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