I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
