The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
