Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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