Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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