How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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