I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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