Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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