i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize