At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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