That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
