Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize