At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
