Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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