what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
