discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
