Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
