if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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