that's an acceptable place to lick
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
