I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
