Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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