I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
