I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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