my vag is so smooth its legendary
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
