I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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