I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
