Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
