I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
