these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
