if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
areolas are like halos for boobs.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
