My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No I am not eating basil off your cock
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
