also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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