Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
