So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
