Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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