Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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