I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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