I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
