puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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