Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
