no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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