It's Friday. Sex?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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