soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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