Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
