I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize