I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
