i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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