I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
a search helicopter?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
