Just fell off a train. Bad.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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