Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
