I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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